Saturday, May 1, 2010

Hungry for Words

While my father was picking out stuff in the grocery store just hours ago, I couldn't help myself but to think that another school year's coming up and I, still, cannot believe I'm already stepping up to my second year of college.

There's so many reasons why I can't believe that I passed my first year. I barely couldn't even pass my Algebra and Calculus long tests during the first and second semesters, respectively. Thank you, though, to these considerate teachers who have noticed my efforts during boardworks despite failing my test papers. Then there's English wherein I had the strangest teacher ever. Physically, she's normal, very normal but everyone in my class (and in others' too) think she's crazy or some word nicer than that. She gave us three papers to work on during each semester during the year so we had six. We blamed her for everything. Who wouldn't anyway? But when I look back on it, I still think of her as someone crazy, inconsiderate but really, on the brighter side, I think she's just helping us cope up with what college has still to offer us in the coming years.

Moving aside those low-unit subjects (those only had 3 units each), my course was never easy. At first, during that summer before, I thought "chicken lang yan!" Modesty aside, I thought I was so good in any computer work: I was one of the fast typers in my batch when our teachers had some contest about it, I finished my final projects in our Computer subjects in each year level in high school easily and I made good presentations during class. I just loved the computer that much. Those thoughts were put down the drain when I entered the middle part of the year. Information Technology was all about Logic, Math, constant programming practices, help from upper class men and strict-but-very-considerate teachers combined. Of course, there were also my friends who still managed to laugh with me even though we're all having the tough times of our lives.

I was on the verge of shifting courses and schools when I thought of quitting. Throughout the second semester, there's this side of me who couldn't help but "meditate" on my deeds: what have I done wrong, why am I failing and... the most painful question of all, am I really go to turn to someone more stupid as I grow older? But there were also the thoughts of pushing myself harder to my goal at that time which was only to pass my first year in the university. "I CAN'T QUIT!!!" That statement helped me to realize that if I quit, one way or another, I'm going to be a quitter. So, everytime I thought about leaving the school and my course, there's those three words that seemed to always follow.

The months passed and summer came. I couldn't enjoy the first few days of April because I was anxious for the release of my grades. Not to mention that I had a hard time accessing my grades online for two reasons: I haven't passed that paper the registrar's office asked the people who had warnings during the first year for their grades (I got 2.74 during the first semester. Only a 0.5 less from the retention grade for the whole year.) and I wasn't able to pay my library dues before summer. I couldn't sleep during those days, worrying that I might receive the first huge shock of my life when I see my grades. Finally, I got over being lazy in paying those library dues and went to school a day just before Calculus remedial classes started and on my way home after, I was that nervous (the kind that would give someone a heart attack) to see my grades and my parents' reactions.

Fortunately, though, as I've seen my grades, I felt relieved and I immediately computed for my GWA which was the most important other than my parents' reactions. I passed Calculus, having a passing grade, a higher grade in English and a programming major subject and a far GWA from the retention grade.

Now, I'm more than thankful. I made through my first year, my supposed-to-be adjustment period for college and second year is a few months ahead of me. Moreover, I was able to prove to myself that I can't just quit in just a snap. I still have got to try harder! And besides, as our ate's and kuya's from IT would tell us... "Wag kang mag-shift. Phase lang yan. Kaya niyo yan!"

12 comments:

Patti said...

Congratulations, Frances! So first year pa lang pala ay may majors na kayo. I'm sure patikim palang yun, there's so much more pagdating ng second year! Haha, that's not a threat (although it may sound as one XD) but as what the upper batches from your course told you guys, it's just a phase. Learn to love what you're doing in your course so you won't be compelled to quit. I guess that's one of the things I've learned (THE HARD WAY) for the past three years in college. :)

And always reward yourself right after accomplishing a certain task! Lalo na kapag majors. That's going to keep you motivated. Hehehe.:)

iSHMOi said...

Hey Frances! Sobrang naniniwala ako ng first and fourth year ang pinakamahirap na year in college. But yeah, it's just phase. Kung yung mga Ates and kuyas nyo eh nakaya, kaya nyo din yun! :)

Alex said...

Grabe Frances. Sobrang natuwa ako sa entry na to. Lahat kasi ng nafeel mo as in nafeel ko rin. Dahil nga IT rin ako. I know what you went and will (possibly) go through! Haha!

First year ako may Algeb rin kame akala ko talaga babagsak ako nun! Syempre ang sama sa feeling naman nun first year na first year at first sem na first sem may bagsak ka agad. Fortunately, nairaos naman! Pero ayun sem after sem lagi na lang akong may subject a kinakabahan pero so far AND THANK GOD okay naman ang mga grades ko.

Tapos dagdag pa yung hirap nung course. As in. Nung pinili ko to kala ko chill chill lang pero hindi pala. Kailangan talaga may effort ka and diskarte.

Nung second year ako dun ko unang naisip magshift dahil sobrang nahirapan ako sa ComProg2 namen. Pero yun nga naisip ko nasimulan ko na kailangan ko tapusin. Haaii..Grabe.

Basta best of luck! Lalo na pag third year ka na. =) I know you can do it! There's going to be lots of moments wherein you'd want to shift to another course but just hold on! HAha! KAya mo yan.


Yan. Na carried away ako. Tama na. Ahaha!
TC! <3 <3 <3

Mayee M. said...

Haha you know what, akala ko rin nun madali lang mag-CS or IT. Hindi naman yung chicken lang, pero di ko inexpect na mahirap pala talaga. Pero at least, you survived! And you didn't give up and turned to shifting courses. Congrats!! And high five for getting through Calculus! Hehehe. :)

Jam said...

I feel you. I used to think of shifting and transferring issues. First sem of freshmen year pa lang, gusto ko na magshift, eh. I constantly thought of quitting. Pero, look, I survived (well, almost). :D

Good luck to you! Sophie na. ;)

Frances said...

@Ate Patti

Thanks! I'm so psyched up now for the soph year, actually :D And hopefully, it wouldn't last only within a few days during the schoolyear.. and then, maybe I should do more work than the rewarding part.

Thank you for the advice! ;) Good luck to your course, too.

Frances said...

@Ate Ishna

Really? Phew. But in our university, I think we need a GWA of 2.5 to pass the sophomore year which makes it the hardest of all levels...

Thank you for the encouragement! :D

Frances said...

@Alex

Wow, thank you at may nakakarelate sa'kin! Buti naishare mo sa'kin, at least I have an idea on how I should work hard. BTW, we're had C++ and Java during the first sem that's why it's EXTREMELY hard compared to other universities.

Frances said...

@Ate Maye

Woohoo \:D/ Thank you *high five!*

Frances said...

@Ate Jam

Grabe no? As in, intense man! Are you an incoming junior or senior?

We can do this!!

TERESA:) said...

I'm going to be a sophomore this school year as well. Just like you, I srsly can't believe how I manage to survive freshman year and pass each and every one of my subjects. They were all torturous in a way.

Never give up Frances. Before you even know it, graduate ka na. :)

Frances said...

@Teresa

Time really goes by fast. It's like one day we were just in high school and then today, sophomore college!

Good luck to both of us! Let's work hard :D

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